Thursday, January 20, 2011

I met this girl who could really see (Unedited)



So i met this girl today that can really see, see further than anybody can, we started chatting and it was interesting because i realized she could even tell me my past,see backward into memories lost,those buried dark secrets, events and happenings we'd rather forget than recall and now she got me writing again,she got me talking again, she got me looking back into that part of me that's almost dead and buried, that part of me that sometimes want to be left undisturbed and never touched, that part of me that will and should make me thick and that's just talking about my past,then there is the issue of my now, today,my present. Just because she is here seems like a fairy tale, my now seems like a present presented to someone living a dream. Have you ever had that feeling, where it seems like you are floating? or the one where it seems like you are not the one living,like you are watching a real life drama of yourself,acting it all out,making things happen? that's exactly what she makes me feel like, like am living in a dream,nothing is ever wrong or rather nothing seems to be wrong even when nothing is right,its magical,i have a feeling if man would ever grow wings and fly,this is what it will feel like, i am flying, really flying. 

And then to the part where i know everyone has a fear for, the fear of tomorrow is what makes a man steal and kill,its the same reason people commit suicide and so am eager to know,i want some of her bliss especially reserved for that time of my future,that uncertain tomorrow,i want it settled now.So we began my quest for tomorrow on her timeline,she-the leader,me-the humble follower oblivious to the fact that what we are seeing really is not my future,it is the future we will have if i follow her but follow her i did at least for the reason that i wanted to know what my future hold and so we started out,woman and man-not yet man and wife or husband and wife as many will call it,slowly we crossed mountains of problems,temptation and despair but because i am in a capsule of bliss,i can't even feel a thing,we raced with wild horses and took a dive in ocean filled with deadly sharks but yet a hair on my head never lost its root, it was the best time of my life, even though am in a limbo, it feels like am Di Caprio living the inception story in full throttle, almost could not tell which is my real life from my unreal one,it was a daze and still is every time i recall the moment,i never want this feeling to end,i want this bliss forever. 

And so we came to a junction,nothing remarkable about it all,it was the plainest i have ever seen in my life, no spectacular feature, nothing at all to make it seem like a dream,it is a junction nonetheless and we must decide, not we, she must decide which way we go.So to keep in line with my role as the follower,i was ready to do the bidding of the leader and let her know i am here for as long as it takes,or it took as the case may be, to me it was a simple decision,as simple as a Yes and a No,if she turns right,i follow in her steps,if she goes left,there i am behind her. So i was all set,ready to go but suddenly the music in her voice ceased,the expression on her face was one of worry, like a mother whose child has just be taken from her, it looked to me like a sane person wearing the appearance insane person, like a mad man putting on tie,looking as corporate as can be,ever seen that? And it was the scariest moment of my life,seeing a win-win situation toppled on its head like that,no man can is built to withstand that. While still searching within myself for the next step of this wonderful journey,she spoke to me for the first time.Yes the first time since we began this journey,it didn't feel strange though,all she has been doing before now was to show me,make me see,make me live, but now she spoke and with the most sonorous voice ever,it was like hearing a harp talk,it's like a grand piano with the voice of lucifer, it was spell casting and of course bounding too so you can imagine how relieved i was,maybe things are not as bad as her expression says,maybe she is just acting,wanting to be sure of my commitment. So a new hope built up within me but it didn't live long because the next words i heard was, 'make your pick',those three words, that number three, words that could have been 'i love you','i want you','i dig you','i claim you',any positive action word that can stand between i and you but that was not to be,what i heard was 'make your pick',plain and simple,like the junction and like the two roads that leads to an end. I was scared, i don't want to on any of the paths alone,i wanted to be with her but it was clear,her words made it clear i had to make a choice, alone.  

At this point, my whole life depended on this junction, the two path that leads out of it, my concerns where plain for her to see, will she go where i go or will she go the other way? This journey that i was enjoying at the beginning was almost developing into a nightmarish tale and deep down in my heart i know i couldn't do anything to change her mind so i did what could be done in the situation, pick one and hope she picks the same,i headed for the left for no reason that i can explain at all,i just got on the trail and started moving,praying deep in my heart for her to follow in my step and restore my bliss,i was waiting for that angelic voice to speak to me again,this time telling me 'i love you' or maybe she is not a talker,anything she says is bound to hurt,so she could just show me,continue to show me and make me fly again but nothing,i waited,i listened for a voice,for a step but i heard nothing, no voice,no footsteps, no new vision and then i realised she choose the right path. 

The right path? why didn't i think of that,why didn't i just go the right path just because that is what it is,the right path as the name implies? but i choose the left path and she left me, not a word, not a step or even a glimpse of my future to spare, i was scared of turning around, i was scared to face the fear of losing her, of really confirming the truth of what i already know,that she is gone so i kept on going, never looking back, sure that my path is set before me, me to the left, she to the right.

So i met a girl that showed me something i would love to have forever,an ability to fly,soar into higher skies, into a new world yet unknown. I met a girl that changed my life with a vision. I met a girl that made me fly. But she choose the right path and i the left. I met a girl today who could really see.

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