Am having a messy day, am having a totally forgettable day and the only way i can immortalise how unfulfilled i feel today is only if i write it down, which in a way, is making today down in history as a day i will never forget but i'd rather forget it, either by waking up and realising i wrote this note in my dream and wake up to find just little bit of memories of how this day has been.
Few days back i saw the movie Inception, remarkable story line, a work of fiction that makes you wonder if you are living your real life here and now and put that together with the acting skills of DiCaprio (who in the end couldn't tell reality from dream) and you will want to see the movie over and over again but my bad day is not from having memories from that movie, my bad day i think is a result of the dream i had before i came to work today. It wasn't even a remarkable dream, me and a few friends were gathered around discussing the future and suddenly it goes dark and we never could see each others face again, i woke up from that thinking "what the f**k, NEPA dey take light inside dream again" but what was more weird was not the fact that i didn't see any of my friends again- afterall they say 20 children can not play for 20 years and so i expect at a point in my life,i'll have to let go some friends and welcome new ones-the weird thing was that light was not restored until i woke up from the dream and it bothers me,it bothers me, it really does bother me and it still bothers me.
Is it possible, for there not to be light in the world for a full day, i mean no sun and no moon and all electric sources of power just refuses to work and not just that, you try your candle, lantern and every other source of lighting up a place and nada, nothing at all, how will it be? how will we be? how will we survive? what will become of us. it bothers me, it bothers me greatly. I have never been dead before, i am sure i have not or maybe i have and like the movie inception, every time i die in one world, i wake up in another. Do you think that is even possible? if it is, loads and loads of us will gladly commit suicide, just to start again, just to have a clean slate, a second chance that many have been craving for.
So it bothers me in my dream that it was dark and i didn't see light again until i woke up,so what? does it justify me even writing about it to start with, why does darkness have such a bad connotation, is darkness really bad? Reading this piece, i know you can tell it is really a messy day for me, i keep asking myself questions that i can not answer and that no one else seems to be able to an answer and yes i know its weird and scary and maybe not at all interesting but it still bothers me.
Ah now i remember, maybe this is why it bothers me. Yesterday, a friend showed me his facebook wall (thank goodness that was not on my wall) of gory sights, of something the government knows about and maybe they are trying to hide, it was a picture and i saw many dead people (maybe that is what darkness means,death,an end), they were roasted alive as i can tell from the picture and it wasn't interesting at all. Being me, i try joking about it so that i can forget what i have seen, i try to rationalise in my mind, telling myself that what i was seeing was a picture from the Biafra era (i don't even think this kind of carnage happened during the Biafra civil war), so many people, young and old roasted alive and this happened some days back, in Jos, not so far away from where i am now. Going home that night after work, the picture was stuck on my mind and maybe the dream is about it, maybe the dream is about the inevitable, what will come on us, as a people, as Nigerians, if we continue to pay lip service to what is happening in our nation now.
Like in the dream, me and my friends were talking about the future and suddenly it was dark, gross darkness, like nothing we have never seen before. That can happen in Nigeria, it can and that bothers me, it bothers me greatly. Young and old, in high places and low places, from every tribe and every religion, go about our day like nothing happened,like nothing is happening, like its normal. We get on social networking site and everything seems okay, we dish out new music everyday, we make jokes and crack ourselves up about our situation, what is the solution? Someone please answer me. when old neighbours, people that have lived together for centuries suddenly pick up weapons and injure one another, doesn't that scare us? what in hell's name could cause that? This is where we should look at ourselves and laugh, we are in the middle of electing people into offices, selecting leaders that will govern us and yet we ignore an issue as important as the life of the citizenry of this country, what is happening? are we blind or are we all deaf? where are the elders, the ones that have caused all the problems(oh i forgot, they are all in polling booth trying to get registered), where are the youths, the supposed future of this country(oh i forgot, they are all preparing to attend the futures award), where are the real Nigerians, people that refuses to defile themselves with the tribal jargon that we carry around, people that will not kill for a God of peace,people that will not make other men their gods and live by what they say, where are the true Nigerians, those few that can stand and make us all hear and listen and pay attention to the plight that we face as a Nation. Perhaps there are no Nigerians alive again, perhaps the country Nigeria died the day we gained independence, perhaps the only True Nigerian was Fela-Anikulao Kuti and the rest of us are just Biafrians, Ooduas, Arewas, Ijaws and the many great tribes that use to be the strength of this great Nation.
Perhaps I am wrong and someone out there is doing something to make things right or maybe i am right and no one has a clue, no one is doing anything, perhaps tomorrow will come and the fighting and killing will end,perhaps, but it still bothers me, my dream,it still bothers me.
Me and my friends were in the that dream and it suddenly went dark.
Few days back i saw the movie Inception, remarkable story line, a work of fiction that makes you wonder if you are living your real life here and now and put that together with the acting skills of DiCaprio (who in the end couldn't tell reality from dream) and you will want to see the movie over and over again but my bad day is not from having memories from that movie, my bad day i think is a result of the dream i had before i came to work today. It wasn't even a remarkable dream, me and a few friends were gathered around discussing the future and suddenly it goes dark and we never could see each others face again, i woke up from that thinking "what the f**k, NEPA dey take light inside dream again" but what was more weird was not the fact that i didn't see any of my friends again- afterall they say 20 children can not play for 20 years and so i expect at a point in my life,i'll have to let go some friends and welcome new ones-the weird thing was that light was not restored until i woke up from the dream and it bothers me,it bothers me, it really does bother me and it still bothers me.
Is it possible, for there not to be light in the world for a full day, i mean no sun and no moon and all electric sources of power just refuses to work and not just that, you try your candle, lantern and every other source of lighting up a place and nada, nothing at all, how will it be? how will we be? how will we survive? what will become of us. it bothers me, it bothers me greatly. I have never been dead before, i am sure i have not or maybe i have and like the movie inception, every time i die in one world, i wake up in another. Do you think that is even possible? if it is, loads and loads of us will gladly commit suicide, just to start again, just to have a clean slate, a second chance that many have been craving for.
So it bothers me in my dream that it was dark and i didn't see light again until i woke up,so what? does it justify me even writing about it to start with, why does darkness have such a bad connotation, is darkness really bad? Reading this piece, i know you can tell it is really a messy day for me, i keep asking myself questions that i can not answer and that no one else seems to be able to an answer and yes i know its weird and scary and maybe not at all interesting but it still bothers me.
Ah now i remember, maybe this is why it bothers me. Yesterday, a friend showed me his facebook wall (thank goodness that was not on my wall) of gory sights, of something the government knows about and maybe they are trying to hide, it was a picture and i saw many dead people (maybe that is what darkness means,death,an end), they were roasted alive as i can tell from the picture and it wasn't interesting at all. Being me, i try joking about it so that i can forget what i have seen, i try to rationalise in my mind, telling myself that what i was seeing was a picture from the Biafra era (i don't even think this kind of carnage happened during the Biafra civil war), so many people, young and old roasted alive and this happened some days back, in Jos, not so far away from where i am now. Going home that night after work, the picture was stuck on my mind and maybe the dream is about it, maybe the dream is about the inevitable, what will come on us, as a people, as Nigerians, if we continue to pay lip service to what is happening in our nation now.
Like in the dream, me and my friends were talking about the future and suddenly it was dark, gross darkness, like nothing we have never seen before. That can happen in Nigeria, it can and that bothers me, it bothers me greatly. Young and old, in high places and low places, from every tribe and every religion, go about our day like nothing happened,like nothing is happening, like its normal. We get on social networking site and everything seems okay, we dish out new music everyday, we make jokes and crack ourselves up about our situation, what is the solution? Someone please answer me. when old neighbours, people that have lived together for centuries suddenly pick up weapons and injure one another, doesn't that scare us? what in hell's name could cause that? This is where we should look at ourselves and laugh, we are in the middle of electing people into offices, selecting leaders that will govern us and yet we ignore an issue as important as the life of the citizenry of this country, what is happening? are we blind or are we all deaf? where are the elders, the ones that have caused all the problems(oh i forgot, they are all in polling booth trying to get registered), where are the youths, the supposed future of this country(oh i forgot, they are all preparing to attend the futures award), where are the real Nigerians, people that refuses to defile themselves with the tribal jargon that we carry around, people that will not kill for a God of peace,people that will not make other men their gods and live by what they say, where are the true Nigerians, those few that can stand and make us all hear and listen and pay attention to the plight that we face as a Nation. Perhaps there are no Nigerians alive again, perhaps the country Nigeria died the day we gained independence, perhaps the only True Nigerian was Fela-Anikulao Kuti and the rest of us are just Biafrians, Ooduas, Arewas, Ijaws and the many great tribes that use to be the strength of this great Nation.
Perhaps I am wrong and someone out there is doing something to make things right or maybe i am right and no one has a clue, no one is doing anything, perhaps tomorrow will come and the fighting and killing will end,perhaps, but it still bothers me, my dream,it still bothers me.
Me and my friends were in the that dream and it suddenly went dark.
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